Every Christian lady needs a team of encouragers, people we can always run to at difficult times and even share happy moments with. You know what I mean right? A tree doesn’t make a forest after all and life isn’t a desert, even if it were, the desert experience requires warmth from a heart to keep us alive.
I don’t believe warmth just comes from blankets or holding of hands, it is a selfless share of love and affection between two hearts. We all need and long for a special tribe, and as single Christian ladies, this need is extremely important.
The bible specifically points out:
‘and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near’. Hebrews 10:24-25
Specifically, as single women there are 6 types of friends that we need to journey with us through the difficult and joyful days, the highs and lows, and the hopes and tears of waiting for God’s timing and fulfilling our purpose on earth.
‘What is the outcome then, brethren? When you assemble, each one has a psalm, has a teaching, has a revelation, has a tongue, and has an interpretation let all things be done for edification.’ I Cor 14:26
The year ends and a new year is about to be ushered in, let’s take the time to reminisce over our past company and make proper and necessary adjustments for the higher calling ahead.
So, what are the types of friends that we need as single Christian girls?
1, THE MEGA FAITH BUILDER FRIEND
This is the friend who prays “BIG prayers”, has serious visions and believes in the impossible no matter the situation. She is the one who believes that ‘God can and will do immeasurably more than we can ever ask or imagine’. I call them my faith speakers because they always speak faith into your life and pray along with you and for you.
They are the Calebs we all need in our doubting times who will boldly silence everyone else with their positive reports:
“We should attack now and take the land; we are strong enough to conquer it’
Numbers 13: 30
The persistent Joshua and Caleb who will insist in the face of death and oppositions saying :
“The land we explored is an excellent land, do not rebel against the lord, we will conquer them easily, the lord is with us, and has defeated the gods who protected them so don’t be afraid”
I call them the ‘mega faith builders’
They may not be our closest friends but they remain like the spies sent out by Joshua to survey the land, they take the spiritual risks for us and boldly calm your troubled hearts saying:
“We are sure the lord has given us the whole country, all the people there are terrified of us”
They are the Elizabeths in our lives who will see into the spiritual aspect of our life, they see the vision right before it is made clearer to us, and tell us that the baby in her womb leaps for joy; they are the first to see the good in any situation and smile “all things work for our good”
You need to see them wailing in prayers and interceding in prayers, you feel caved in right in their presence ,you see a realm of God you may have never seen before, they make you hunger for God more and more. Always pushing you deeper into God, they are just like the ‘assistant holy spirit’ making sure we stay away from sin and live uprightly and justly in righteousness.
They never fail to ask and say:
“Have you heard from the lord concerning this matter?’
“What is the counsel of the lord?”
“Oh dear, let’s wait on the lord”
“I believe the lord can do exceedingly more than we ask for”
They are the Deborahs who will get into the front line while you tremble in fear because of the armies of men you see.
They represent Deborah’s words in judges
“When village life ceased, I arose Deborah, a mother in Israel”
They are the Elishas who will pray: lord, open her eyes to see that ‘the ones who are for us are more than they who are against us’. They would always pronounce victory in unpleasant situations and impossibilities, tell you to look at the cloud and ask what do you see?
And while you still see a tiny cloud like the finger of a man, they see the clouds already bending ready to pour on men and water the earth.
They are the friends I call ‘tarry here with me’
They pray until something happens.
2, THE PAINFULLY TRUTHFUL FRIEND
This is the friend that will call you out lovingly when you are tempted to throw a pity party, will speak truth into your heart when you are tempted to settle for lies of depression, and will lovingly remind you of the greatest truth- God’s truth when you are tempted to feel less than who you are in God’s image because you are single or in despair. This friend is a beautiful gift in this journey- reminding you of truth and understanding the power of life-giving and redeeming words I can’t give them out for free to anyone. They might be a pain in the neck in those sad situations but they have your interest at heart. My then roommate is a perfect example.
3, THE COURAGEOUS FRIEND
This is the beautiful friend that will remind you that life is an adventure and to never settle in this season but to live fully for the Lord in this season. This friend encourages you to ask questions and yet have courage in this season of single hood, beautifully encouraging you to step out and follow the Lord’s plans for your life. This is the friend that will also encourage you to use this season of waiting for the Lord’s glory.
4, THE MAMA FRIEND
It can be tempting to think that a married friend won’t understand this single season of life, but the opposite is true. A Godly woman will be able to share with you and help you mature in areas that can prepare you for marriage in the future. I have learned so much from each of my married friends who have been willing to openly share with me about what true love, sacrifice, and commitment in marriage looks like. Don’t be worried about the different seasons- true Godly women understand that we are all always waiting on the Lord for something and will lovingly welcome you into their lives.
5,THE PATIENT FRIEND
There are times where as single girls we just weep at difficult seasons in our life, it could be a family, career or emotional problem, it could also be a problem with our spiritual life. In these moments we need the friend who will listen and cry with us. The listener has the gift of truly listening to our hearts and encouraging us in the difficult moments of life. Friends that would never say a thing while you cry your hearts out on their shoulder. They just have the rare gift of getting an earful. They are those friends we stay on the phone with for hours talking and shouting and screaming and crying and complaining to.
They may not always know the right syntax neither do they speak big faith but they sure would allow you soak their body in tears, they let you pour out your heart and grievances without saying a single word. But then you know one funny thing, we always feel better after each session with them, they just have a way of reaching out to the inner child and soothing the pain or hurt and even a times when we say nothing, they know everything, they can tell our perfect mood at each point in time. They are the ones who see the pain in our eyes even when all else see the smiles on our face. You can be brave all you want outside but with them, you put down your guard freely and display your vulnerability. It doesn’t really matter to them how strong you show others you are or your position in church and the wider society.
They are always like “eehen presh,you can confide in me” I tell you these ones operate their own special kind of ‘witchcraft’. They ones are rare; when you find them, value them.
6 THE VISION FIRER FRIEND
This is the type of friend who carries and pursues your vision more than you ever do, they believe in you more than anybody. I call them the ‘carry my matter for head’ friends.
They could be that friend whom you talk with from time to time or even a sibling but they trust your vision more than any other person. The moment you say something you want to do, they jump on your case and are already putting forth ideas on the table. Giving you all the advises and counsel you need. No jealousy or secret schemes, just sincere love and concerns. They are the ones whom the bible described as ‘heralds’ who will run with the vision. They are deep thinkers, they may not always be there during your emotional and spiritual needs but they remain by your side till you achieve any vision you have set ahead of you.
Their favorite verse may have to be “the vision may remain yet for an appointed time”
They are more patient yet very detailed and meticulous.
What kind of friend category do you think that you are?
What kind of friends do you think every Christian single girls needs?
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Till next time, keep being a woman on the front line.