christian living Faith Lifestyle Purpose Relationship

BUT I THOUGHT SHE WAS SAVED

I laughed the first time I heard those words

“Speak to her, my beloved has gone far from me and I want her back”

It all later turned to be true

It has been two full months since Akunna was committed to earth, already six feet below the earth: the memories hunt me

Ada and I, met at a June discipleship conference, it was an attraction and admiration at first sight

One of those people you meet and instantly feel drawn to them either to learn or to stay near them

She had the most perfect and infectious smile that could send any man weak in the knee but I wasn’t a dude after all

The passion with which she taught the bible study that evening marveled me, I was held in great awe of her teaching prowess

“Hello ma” I approached her first

“Hi Esther”

She knew my name?

“You are surprised I know your name?” she smiled

“Well, yes ma” I replied

“I do, and I have read two of your books; the recent release Ijeoma kept me crying and praying over my life”

“How could my little writing have affected this spiritual giant sister, I was sure she was absolutely flattering me”

Sleep eluded my eyes all through the night as I turned to the sides of the bed continuosly; I have never felt this restless in years

“What is wrong with me?”

I got to my knees with tears in my eyes

I had barely opened my mouth to utter words or say prayers when I heard the words for the first time, so clearly

“Speak to my beloved; she has gone far from me”

“Speak to your beloved?”

But what could the lord be talking about? my life has been on  good slide all along, I plagued sin like feaces, even the mere thought of it scares me not for the fear of hell like most persons assumed but because of the relationship I longed to have with the holy spirit, I Had built it so consciously over the years

What was God reprimanding me about?

“Hello ma”

I needed to speak to my discipler about my life, perhaps she would explain better

Most times we barely see our lives as imperfect till another person does

I must have erred

“Ijeoma, what is the matter?, why are you crying?

“Ma, I just heard the lord tell me to warn his beloved”

“I think I have strayed away from this path of righteousness”

She laughed loudly

“Ahhh, the lord is good”

“But mummy”

“Calm down dear, the lord just spoke to me few hours before you called”

“You met a new friend, Akunna recently, the lord requests you speak to her”

“About what ma?”

“You have the message given to you”

I laughed as soon as I got off the phone

Mummy failed to understand me even after I told her that Akunna was a minister, a discipler to many and friend to all, a spiritual giant and prowess, she has the words of the scriptures at the tip of her tongue and what? Preach to her?

I laughed loudly again and heaved a sigh of relief

“I was safe after all”

The second and third time I heard those words were at work immediately I met Akunna

I still couldn’t bring myself to speak to her till her death on my birthday, that cold September night at Saint Agnes hospital

I watched as life slipped away from her after she told me her life ordeal

“Ijeoma I don’t know how this happened but I committed sin again with her, I slept with my assistant coordinator”

“Ma?” my eyes almost popped out of their socket

“Yes, I was a lesbian”

“I got initiated in secondary school by my school mother, she left but the urge never left”

“I tried all I could, gave my life to Christ but the addiction continued, it was like a torn in my flesh

“I stopped speaking to anyone about it, each counseling session proved abortive, I fought alone and searched the scriptures hungrily; so fast God started using me to heal lots of girls from the same addiction, their testimony gave me joy and I held on to the strand of hope that perhaps I would be free in no time too, and indeed my freedom came, grace saved me or rather I thought it saved me”

”Ije,I prayed and fasted, went for several mountain experiences, until my assistant pastor came into the picture, she was perfect, looked spiritual and had passion for the ministry and vision and a lesbian too”

She wiped her eyes with the handkerchief

“She ignited the passion and lust I had hidden below, it all ignited that night, we hid our affair and the lord kept manifesting through me and healing lots of souls except me, ijeoma”

“I couldn’t take my own advice”

We cried till tears were no more to be shed

“I would die soon, I have had cancer for two years now, I barely asked the lord for more time”

“Ma?”

The tears flowed again and over, while she consoled me, she was a strong woman

“Go downstairs to get me pepper soup”

“My beloved needs to come back to me” that word came again

I came upstairs hurriedly, held her hands to pray but couldn’t feel her pulse anymore

“No lord, please lord, don’t do this please”

“I will obey your instruction” I cried

The lord was silent; the room was fast filled with shouts of doctorrr from the lips of many and tears of men and women who came around to bid her farewell

Surprisingly, her face shone like the stars as I stared at her

 

Ijeoma, meeting you has been wonderful

You have strengthened me in many ways

I knew the lord had spoken to you about me, he told me too as well as two other mentors I respected but you couldn’t believe because you trusted and respected my ministry

I reconciled with the lord but I needed to tell you my story for you to understand that the voice of the lord supersedes our earthly respect and assumptions, the lord is not an author of confusion, it is better to be safe by subtly telling the person than invoke the anger of God by disobeying him

Thank you for being beside me at my last breath, continue to inspire girls and join forces with heaven to heal them of addiction

Write about me too

“But I thought she was saved”

That was the content of the letter the nurse brought five minutes after she passed on

Today I sat at the edge of my bed to scribble down the same word again for another beloved

“Speak to her, my beloved has gone far from me and I want her back”

We are God’s representative on earth

……………………………………………………………………………………

Most times, our assumptions are costly and is disobedience to God who seeks our obedience in matters covering our lives and that of other believers

When he speaks to you

Would you be willing to pass the message or hoard it out of fear

What about your own life?

“Beloved, come back to him, you have strayed too far”

 

Spread the love
  • 2
    Shares

About Author

My name is Precious Jewel Oli. I am a graduate of Linguistics
A lot simpler summary of me would be a God chaser, Minister, Writer and entrepreneur. I am a Nigerian.
I absolutely love cooking (edible and spiritual foods) so most times you might meet me with a jotter and a Biro, some good music or sermon is an addition or better yet tucked under my blanket at my leisure times.
I am learning to love my quirks and minister to the lives of others in order to for them to see themselves through the lens of God

(1) Comment

  1. Good

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *